Grace

Grace is such a simple concept until we try to define it. It suddenly gets very complex with numerous definitions and examples. I've been reading Jud Wilhite's book Pursued. In it, he provides a very unique definition for grace. Grace is not only what God guards us from, but also what He brings us to. Although it has taken some time to process...God has shown tremendous grace to us through infertility... While things aren't necessarily going exactly as I expected them to, if it were not for Him bringing us to this experience, we would not have the opportunity to experience and glorify Him through it.

I had coffee with a friend last week and she and I talked about how God knows the desires of our hearts and promises to fulfill them. We have to trust His timing and be ok with sitting still when that's what He has called us to. Many times in scripture, He asks His children to wait and have faith. Whether it be weeks, months, or years—He will be faithful. 

I can't help but wonder how many times we have missed Gods best, simply by moving when He has said to stay still. 

I'm confident that God will provide a child in His timing and that our waiting is not a punishment, but a gift He has given us so we can share our story and impact lives for His kingdom. 

Today, two of our best friends are in the delivery room, and by this evening will be holding a perfect picture of God's grace—their daughter. The enemy wants us to compare our lack of a baby to their story, but the truth is God has given us empty arms during this season as a perfect picture of His grace.

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The News...

I've had a hard time composing myself enough to sit down and write this... but it's time.

Chip and I decided about a month ago to pursue our infertility with a little more intensity, it was time for us to talk to our doctor and find out what was going on. My mother's family has a history of PCOS and Endometriosis as well as miscarriages, so I have always expected it would be a little harder for me to get pregnant than most. I had heard all about my various options for fixing what was wrong with my body in order to conceive... I was prepared... and ready... so I made the appointment.

I will always remember that night. We had just gotten home from taking a friend of ours out for a birthday dinner. It had been a long day, so I changed into my pj's and climbed into the bed. Chip spoke up and said, "There's something I need to tell you..." My heart started racing and I knew something was wrong. He continued, "the doctor called today to give us the test results..." At that moment, I pictured myself in a hospital bed and the doctor handing me my baby, with tears of pain, excitement, and love I looked up at Chip and smiled. I thought about the day I had planned out telling our parents the news that we were expecting. I imagined feeling our baby kick and move inside of me. All of these experiences...in an instant became impossible. Chip interrupted my daydream, "Elizabeth did you hear me?" He began explaining in his own way that the tests were not what we had hoped... In that moment God revealed something to me... He did not intend to keep us from experiencing these magical moments, but had BETTER more meaningful moments planned for us. Jesus wants nothing more than for me to experience His best—which will fulfill me more than any dreams and plans I could ever want. The truth is God wants to give us the desires of our hearts and He ALWAYS keeps His promises. So as difficult as this next season will be for us both, I know that God is faithful and He will fulfill His promise to give us a child.

I try and stay in touch with my readers on a personal level through social media. Share this post to pass it on, and then click here to find me on Facebook.